Thursday, May 15, 2014

Finding My Rhythm

by Linda

  RHYTHM:  a regular, repeated pattern of events, changes, activities, etc

A few years ago, I began to have the feeling that something was missing. There were days where I would ask myself, "what should I do now?" It seemed like I had suddenly forgotten what I was supposed to be doing. The onset was gradual, but it eventually grew into something that was consuming me and really affecting my mood. I wasn't depressed but definitely sad. I really didn't want to feel this way and knew I needed to get to the bottom of it all.

I began to realize that the rhythm of my life had dramatically changed and was continuing to change and would continue to change. I realized that this was a good thing, a normal thing and what I needed to do was accept it and find new things to replace the things that had changed or were no longer part of my rhythm.

I remember, during my teen-aged years, people would ask me what I wanted to do with my life, was I going to go to college? what was I going to major in? where did I want to work? would I get married and have children?  where will I live? I remember thinking at that time, "how am I supposed to know" I still wonder how someone so young can answer any of those questions. I know many can and I admire that, it was just something I wasn't able to do.

Now I can look back and see that I did all of those things and more and I wonder if I chose to do them or did they choose me?

I knew my soccer mom days were over and I really missed that. There are no more practices, games or tournaments to go to (I still love soccer though!) no school buses to catch, lunches to pack, homework to finish, teacher gifts and class parties to plan. No more extra laundry to wash, curfews to watch, allowance to dole out, toothbrushing and soap usage to monitor and no more stories at bedtime with hugs and kisses goodnight.

Our children grow and change and their needs grow and change. We live this and feel it happening, it is a bittersweet passage of time as we strive to raise mature and responsible people and fondly remember the little child they once were.

These things and more became part of my rhythm, I instinctively knew what to do each minute and where to go and how to do the things that needed to be done but now the children are grown and have moved out and are living life and creating their own rhythm. It brings me a sense of joy to watch this happening. This has also left me with a huge hole in my rhythm that needs to be filled with something else. Something new, something different.

Change is good and by recognizing that and accepting that, I will be able to find what I need to fill the hole in my rhythm. Fear can sometimes stop me from accepting a new challenge and that is something I am working on. I don't want to miss out on something because I was too scared to do it.

You might think that now I can focus on "me" and do what "I" want to do, my answer to that is I was always doing what "I" wanted to do. It feels like a kind of new beginning. A chance to do things without worrying about so many things. A lot of road blocks have been taken down.

Now I'm asked when will I retire? what will I do after I retire? where will I live?  More questions I have no answers for, but I do have a lot of possibilities.

I am excited to see where this new rhythm takes me.

How's your rhythm?

from - The Rhythm of Life: Living Every Day with Passion and Purpose by Matthew Kelly~

"Everything is a choice. This is life’s greatest truth and its hardest lesson. It is a great truth because it reminds us of our power to live the life of our dreams. It is a hard lesson because it causes us to realize that we have chosen the life we are living right now.The measure of your life will be the measure of your courage. Fear stops more people from doing something with their lives than lack of ability, contacts, resources, or any other single variable. Fear paralyzes the human spirit. Life takes courage."



AFishGirl said...

Very thought-provoking, Linda. Choice. I think about that all the time. Sometimes I like to let the busyness lead so I can pretend there are no choices but to rush and rush. It's wrong thinking on my part. Thanks for this post. I'll be pondering it today. Is that fennel in the first shot?

heyjudephotography said...

Oh my goodness Linda. I have been trying to write a post like this for months and just couldn't get it right. Change is a difficult thing. I don't know anyone who says they love change, but yet, change is always happening around us.. I'm going through a change where my older son has graduated from college and has a job two hours away from here. I've been used to him being home for the summer, from May till the end of August. Now we will see him only occasionally. Just when I get used to one change (him being away at college), then I'm adjusting again. I hadn't thought about it being a change in my rhythm till I read this today. A new rhythm, a new role. Very well done Linda.

Dotti said...

Beautifully said, beautifully written, and the progression of photos is smack-on. {I'm beginning to think the butterfly has emerged as our unofficial mascot here at FOL!} Yes, the rhythms of life change constantly and so often it is hard to let that rhythm change. But change it will ... with or without us. And fear. Wow! That's another whole post in itself. Fear really is the biggest stumbling block to fulfilling our potential, for trying new adventures ... for riding that roller coaster. Gosh ... so much to think about today. Thank you, Linda, for a well-written, thought-provoking post that each and everyone of us can feel.

kelly said...

linda i could have written every word of this post. change is hard for alot of people...most especially yours truly. but just like you've stated doesn't mean that the music is's just a new rhythm to adjust to. i so needed this today my friend. thank you for your honesty and words of wisdom. xo

Linda said...

Pam, I love how you said that you sometimes let the "busyness" lead! That is so true! Yes, that is fennel in the first shot! Thanks for stopping by today. Have a great day!

Deanna said...

Oh, Linda we must truly be on the same wave-length, change and rhythm what a right-on post.

Cathy said...

I have written about this very thing so many times. I have spent hours awake in the middle of the night thinking about it. Your words are right-on and speak so to how so many of us feel as we move through each stage of life. And Pam, what she says is so true, and I do it often, allow the busyness to take over. I use to led life lead me, it was easy, I was a mom and my days were filled with so much I didn't have time to really ponder or even have much say in what was happening next, and I loved it so. Now I find I must work on being mindful of the journey, slowing down and taking it all in. What a thought provoking post and your photos are beautiful. Thanks so much for this today!

Terri Porter said...

Oh, wow, I think so many of us are identifying with this, Linda! Change is hard and when your whole life has been raising your children, it is even harder when that job comes to an end. When I was moping about my last child leaving for college, friends would say, "Just think of all the time you'll have for yourself!" But I didn't know what to do with that time. I just wanted to go back 15 years and do it again and try to do it better. For several years I just sort of spun my wheels, not really knowing where I was going but staying busy, as Pam said, so I didn't have to think about it too much. A new rhythm . . . yes, all of us need to find that new rhythm at various times in our lives. Thank you for this wonderful and thought-provoking post, Linda. <3

Cathy H. said...

Well written and very thought provoking! My rhythm has been in a mess lately and you're words have encouraged me to take a deep breath and rethink a few things! Love your photos that fit so well with the theme of rhythm!

Carol said...

Just so profound - and a great post.

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