Monday, July 7, 2014

Episode 20 - In Which I am Blown Away!

by Carol

Way back in the first postings of this blog I wrote about my journey to photography, and about how thrilled I was to have been "let in" (so to speak) to the art world. If you are interested you can read it right here.

All of my life, I absolutely knew that I was not a creative because I couldn't draw a straight line; because I was too private to expose the writing that I did for fun; because I was shy and I didn't like to talk in front of people. My family members are scientists, with a huge respect for medicine. Beyond crayons, there were no art supplies in our house. Please don't misunderstand - we had a great and fortunate childhood! Ours was about words and thoughts and games - but not art supplies.

Well guess what I came across yesterday? I was cleaning out an old file cabinet and I found my high school aptitude tests, using the Strong Interest Inventory.  And I cannot believe what I read!

I scored very high on nature, and outdoor skills, but low on adventure and risk (so true!).  My highest occupational scores were art, writing, and music! Math, science (and medical service, in which I've been working for more than 40 years!)  were all very low. Teaching was high, athletics low. (They know I am a klutz!) Hysterically, cooking was low - (and boy is it ever!)  "While these types recognize the need for change, they are not the people creating it," and tend to deal with it through their art. Listen to this! - my greatest rewards come from inspiration, rather than logic. Money is "recognized as useful but not foremost in importance." "Artistic people (HA!) seek to use their creative skills for their own distinctive work. Their goal is to be recognized for creative work "that is unique, special or unusual." They contribute feelings to a discussion, more than facts. It showed that I see the world from an emotional and intuitive perspective, rather than a logical or analytical one. (So true - I've never had a 5 year plan in my life!) I am  called visual - an observer of life.

And guess what the suggested occupations were?

                                       1. english teacher 
                                       2. librarian
                                       3. photographer (really - can you believe it?)

I have lost the doubts I once had about my career. I found my niche in it, and I supported my kids after divorce with it. But I am flatly amazed to see that I am not a pretender - that the joy I have found in this craft IS truly who I am, and really DOES fit me. I am 61 years old, and I have come full circle! Why did it take me all this time? Like Dorothy's friends, I should have thought it with my brain, or felt it with my heart. But as Glynda so memorably said, I had to discover it for myself in order to believe it. 

So, be careful with the stories you tell yourselves, my dears! Be careful about listening to the old scripts in your head, and the opinions of others. Because.... who knows you better than you?

"There is a vitality, a life force, an energy, a quickening that is translated through you into action and because there is only one of you in all time, this expression is unique. And if you block it, it will never exist through any other medium and will be lost."
                                                                                           Martha Graham


Katie said...

I'd love to see what sort of results I would've gotten with that same sort of test. And funny enough, I wanted to be a librarian or a journalist when I grew up, too. : )

Dotti said...

Carol, I just love this post!!!!! The real you was determined to have her way whether you knew it or not. Now you're fortunate to have a vocation that you love and an avocation that fulfills your inner yearning. xo

terriporter said...

How wonderful that you came across this test and your answers but it seems you really didn't need them to know what you were supposed to do. You found a job to pay the bills and a hobby to fill your soul. Many people work at a job they really don't like out of necessity and never really find something else to do that makes them happy but you did. I agree with Katie, it would be fun to know what answers I'd get on that test!

leigh said...

I love this post Carol because I can hear the joy in your words! What a wonderful confirmation!

Deanna said...

Oh boy, what a great post. Sure wish I would run across something like that for myself...would be so curious to see what it says. But isn't it wonderful to discover that you have fulfilled what you were destined to become. Love!!!

heyjudephotography said...

Carol you sound so happy! How fun to find thy test and to be "verified" by its results. I remember taking a test like this when I was in school, but I'm sure I don't have it anywhere. What a fun post!

kelly said...

how awesome is this carol! such a wonderful, uplifting post. and you know, I am a firm believer that deep inside - we know who we are. we know what we love and what moves us. inspires us. sometime it just takes someone (or something) to give us permission to be the person we know ourselves to be. what a wonderfully inspired way to start the week! :)

Kim Stevens said...

I love this post Carol, your excitement and the confirmation you found in the test. When I was just visiting my mom she sent me home with a folder of a few things from when I was in school...and I was blown away from some of the artwork from kindergarten. There was a creative soul in that 5 year old and I am so happy that I am getting to cultivate that again!! xo

Sarah Huizenga said...

Great post and fits so well with a conversation my daughter and I were having yesterday. Even though we know we are good at something we can so easily talk ourselves out of pursuing our dreams and capturing and sharing our talent.

Anonymous said...

Carol, I am so delighted for you. This is HUGE. Even though you might think it took you a while to get to this point, remember some people never do. You are one of the lucky ones -- along with the rest of the FOL clan!

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