Being by myself
Those words don’t bring fear.
They don’t cause my heart to race.
In fact, solitary activities bring me pleasure.
When I was about two, my sister and I spent a few days with my grandmother. The story goes that she was extremely worried and told my mother that “Something is wrong with Cathy. She just sits in the corner and plays all by herself? That is not normal!” I was told this story and for a long time I believed it. Well, Nanny, there is nothing wrong with me. It is just who I am. I am a quiet person. I am a loner. I am part of the group of individuals who prefer solitude. We are content to have very limited social interaction and do not feel lonely when we are alone.
Life does not allow me to be by myself and I really wouldn’t want it that way. I have responsibilities. I have family and friends. Neglecting them would be a terrible mistake. There are times though, when life rushes madly around me and the company of others brings stress and even panic, that I know it is time for solitude. I have a favorite place to escape life’s chatter; a quiet park with a beautiful lake and trails meandering through flower gardens and woods.
As soon as I get out of the car I feel the peacefulness beginning to restores me. I walk slowly along the water’s edge headed to my favorite spot, the gazebo. There is a bench facing the lake, but I would rather sit on the steps of the gazebo as close to the water as I can get.
I close my eyes and listen to the gentle flow of water, a woodpecker looking for his noon meal, various song birds, and a frog jumping in the water with a splash. Then, with my eyes still closed I begin to feel. I feel the breeze as it caresses my face and the sunlight on my shoulders. Peace just seems to flood right through me.
When I open my eyes I see small waves sparkling with sunlight, two graceful swans, trees beginning to bud, and the most glorious blue sky. I see moss covered rocks and yellow daffodils dancing in the wind. I see a large back moth and a buzzing bee.
I smile. I am happy. I am content. I am grateful. I am blessed.
Do you take the time to nourish yourself, to rest, to relax? When life has been overwhelming do you read, have a cup of tea, take a walk, listen to music, take a long hot bath or just sit quietly? One of the most important things we can do is to take time for ourselves. It is not selfish, it is necessary! I hope you’ll carve a little time into your schedule each week for yourself and do something that makes you happy. Because happiness brings smiles and smiles are contagious!