Ubunto

by Judy

Over the past week I've had many ideas about this blog post, but I couldn't bring all of my thoughts coherently together.  Although I wanted to write about spring, or photography, my mind kept going to my friend Jeannie, who passed away last Wednesday evening, just one week ago today.  She had a horrible form of cancer that didn't respond to any treatments, and she suffered a long, arduous journey.  

She is survived by her wonderful husband, and two precious sons - one, a 10 year old, and the other, a 14 year old who is a good friend of my own 14 year old.  

Even though I still weep at the thought of her being gone, I'm trying to focus on the way that the community is coming together to try and help.  Neighborhood Mom's and Dad's, all of her family, the boys classmates, school administrators, church members and coaches are coming together to help the family through this.  

"Ubunto" is an African tribal philosophy that is about the community coming together to help one another.  We've all heard that "it takes a village" to raise a child, and even in this modern, tech-filled world we live in, the community is still such an  important part of supporting our friends and loved ones in need.  

In this time of sadness it is so heartwarming to see all of the good that is surrounding Jeannie's family.  It's human nature to band together and to help one another.  I see that there is still a lot of love and hope in this world, and that's a good thing to remember when it seems we only see what is wrong and hateful in people.  

I don't have the answers that Jeannie's sons want to hear right now, and I certainly can't fix this, but I can be there for them, and I will be there for them.  I need to help her children on their journey through this, to not only survive this awful time, but to thrive.  And I know that they will thrive. This loving community of people are going to see to that!  

"You must not lose faith in humanity.  Humanity is an ocean; if a few drops of the ocean are dirty, the ocean does not become dirty."  

Ghandi

(Not so) Deep Thoughts

by Linda

Recently, trophy husband celebrated a significant anniversary. Significant enough to make me pause and think a minute. I am not a deep thinker. I have never been known to over-think something. I have always rolled with the punches and kept moving forward. But this milestone in our life was big enough to muse over.

It was a "how did we get here?" kinda moment. And a "look how things have turned out" slap in the face. How did 2 kids muddle through life and wind up still staring at each other across a table? That's just the thing. We not only managed to muddle through, we have come through to the other side. We are now moving into a new phase of our lives. We have come through the crazy working/kids/carpools/PTA/soccer games/ballet lessons and everything else that makes your life wonderful. Even though we may not have always felt so wonderful when we looked at the calendar and tried to squeeze too much in a week and fell in bed dead tired because of it. We loved every minute of it.

So we pat each other on the back for a job well done and still we sit across the table from each other, pondering what will happen next and wonder if that kid we fell for so long ago is still there. What was it that attracted us to each other?

Well, besides he was the cutest boy in town, he was ambitious. He had joy and happiness inside and outside. He was kind to everyone. He always saw opportunity and goodness. He made me laugh and feel like the most beautiful and desired person on the planet. He doesn't judge people, not me, no one, not ever. How did I get so lucky?

We both have a few miles on our chassis and have weathered a few storms since that day long ago but when I look at him, I still see all of those qualities and think maybe I have taken them for granted over the years through all the running around crazy times of our lives.

So I promise to love, honor and cherish him till death do us part again and continue to roll with the punches and move forward with him because everything that I was attracted to so long ago is still there.

And he can still make me laugh.

...

Love Will Win :: Pass It On

by Dotti

Hatred paralyzes life; love releases it. Hatred confuses life; love harmonizes it. Hatred darkens life; love illuminates it.

                                                                    ~ Martin Luther King, Jr.

FOL contributor Leigh Love shared this eloquent Martin Luther King, Jr. quote a few days ago on Instagram and Facebook. It spoke to many of us as we read it and I wanted to share it today to open my post.

I’d intended to write about “Signs” but my heart kept coming back to this quote, and others which I’ll share. Since our unofficial guideline here at FOL is “write from your heart”, I decided instead to get serious today.

A couple of months ago, Linda broached on the topic of Breaking News and how disheartening it is, day after day after day to hear and read the daily news. In the time since she wrote that post, the news, it seems has just gotten worse. What is one individual to do in the face of such dismal and brutal news, day after day after day?

Yes, it’s a good idea to limit your exposure to these news stories just to keep your own sanity and to keep from giving up on everything we hold dear. But let’s be honest: that’s not enough. We can’t run around with our heads in the sand.

I know that each of us wants to do something positive, something constructive. Seeking and sharing beauty in the everyday is a good way to begin but today I’m going to suggest we take it further.

Some of you, I know, follow Karen Walrond and her blog Chookooloonks. She has written about senseless violence on several occasions but perhaps her most important post was written a few days ago. I encourage you to read the whole post but in this post she says,

Hate does beget hate, but love also begets love.  And I don't have to work change the world, or even the country -- just my world.  And I can begin by "loving my neighbour as myself."  The trick, of course, is remembering my "neighbour" is everyone who crosses my path.

Oh, right.  My neighbour is everyone.

So that, my friends, is the good news. We may not be able to change to whole world but if we will each try to “brighten the corner where we are” (remember that chorus from Sunday School?), before long the love will spread. If we spread the good feeling of love to everybody we meet each day then some of that love will be passed on to others, who will in turn pass it on to still more people. Love will grow. Love will win.

Oh, I know. It sounds Pollyannish. But, friends, what choice do we have? Are we going to roll over and let this horrible hatred consume us? Our country? Our world? Or are we going to try to spread love wherever we are, in our own little corner of the world? This includes doing our best to spread love to those we find unlovable, not an easy task. But is it worth it? I believe it is.

On the night that Martin Luther King, Jr. was assassinated, Robert F. Kennedy arrived in Indianapolis, Indiana, to campaign for the Presidential nomination. Riots had exploded in more than 100 cities in the United States. His aides urged him to cancel his appearance because of all the violence that had erupted across the country in response to this heinous murder. But Senator Kennedy insisted on speaking and some consider it his most important speech. In his uniquely eloquent way, he got to the heart of the matter and there were no riots in Indianapolis that night.  Again, I urge you to read the whole speech, but here is the part I particularly want to leave with you today [emphasis mine]:

We can do well in this country. We will have difficult times. We've had difficult times in the past, but we -- and we will have difficult times in the future. It is not the end of violence; it is not the end of lawlessness; and it's not the end of disorder.

But the vast majority of white people and the vast majority of black people in this country want to live together, want to improve the quality of our life, and want justice for all human beings that abide in our land.

And let's dedicate ourselves to what the Greeks wrote so many years ago: to tame the savageness of man and make gentle the life of this world. Let us dedicate ourselves to that, and say a prayer for our country and for our people.

Convergence and a Crossroad

by Kim

"Above all, I crave to seize the whole essence, in the confines 

of one single photograph, of some situation that was in the

process of unrolling itself before my eyes."

- Henri Cartier-Bresson

Henri Cartier-Bresson was a street photographer. And although this is not about street photography, it is still about the essence we can capture in a single photograph in the moments that move through us if we allow them. 

It is about being able to see and fully experience the beauty beneath the exterior of life . . . because even beneath the surface of the grayest of days, both physically and metaphorically, there is something that shimmers, like gold.

For me, photography has always been a kind of spiritual practice. I've always felt that the photograph is secondary to my experience.

But there are some days that the convergence of my heart with the mindfulness of the present does not always become reality and I find myself at a crossroad of sorts.

Just being in the "right spot"isn't enough if I have disconnect between my head and my heart.

And honestly, there are days that I go out with my camera and have every intention of  "finding something" to bring home on my memory card. Those are the days that I find myself the most frustrated.

Because I've forgotten that expectations lead to disappointments, and that the process or practice of putting my camera to my eye is much more about a path of discovery, of myself and the world around me.

And then there are days like this one, where there were no preconceived ideas about what the sunrise should look like. Where I could feel the essence of the morning in a single photograph, and moments lingered like eternity.

"To us, the difference between the photographer as an individual eye and the photographer

as an objective recorder seems fundamental, the difference often regarded, mistakenly, as

separating photography as art from photography as document. But both are logical extensions

of what photography means; note-taking on, potentially, everything in the world, from every

possible angle."  - Susan Sontag

Love is Good ...

by Dotti

... but it isn't always easy.

Love isn’t a state of perfect caring. It is an active noun like struggle. To love someone is to strive to accept that person exactly the way he or she is, right here and now.

                                                                                                                   

                                                                                                                   ~ Fred Rogers

Did you watch Mr. Rogers’ Neighborhood with your children? My daughter and I watched it every day and talked about it together. I loved his straightforward approach when talking with children, teaching them without insulting their intelligence. I wish I had a quarter of the wisdom that man had.

Last week I came across this quote and I’ve been pondering it ever since. I seriously doubt that children understood what he meant but perhaps a seed was planted and sprouted many years later. I don’t know but I sure hope so. In any event, there is an important truth here, as there was with so much of what Fred Rogers said.

We’ve all experienced it. How easy it is to love when a person is kind to us but how difficult it is when somebody we love is rude to us. Everybody loves a cuddly newborn baby but it's a much more of a struggle when she has colic. 

It’s easy to love our significant other when he/she brings us flowers but when he/she leaves the gas tank in our car on empty, it's another story and thus another struggle ensues. 

These are, admittedly, momentary blips in the big picture. Real life throws us many more difficult ongoing circumstances that are much more challenging than these examples. But by working through it and accepting the situation and where the person is right now we enable ourselves to maintain our love and chances are our love even grows through the process.

At the end of the day, I think it's all worth it. What do you think?

Happy Valentine’s Day to each of you!

And don’t forget to post all your photos about love and Words of Love on the Flickr page and on the Instagram feed. We love seeing your photos!

Me, My Dad, and the Eagles

by Judy

Each winter, between December and March, bald eagles from Canada and Northern New York and New England, fly "south" to the Lower Hudson River Valley in southern New York to feed on fish and waterfowl in the unfrozen waters.  This is right in my backyard and each year my Dad and I look forward to stopping by several different areas along the Hudson to see if we can catch a glimpse of these magnificent and beautiful birds.  

My parents live four hours north of me, where I grew up, so it's always  nice when they come to visit us, and even more special when my Dad and I leave the house right after an early breakfast, and spend the whole morning searching trees and ice flows for eagles.  It's always cold - I mean, downright bitter February in New York cold!  If you haven't experienced it - well, you probably don't want to. But we bundle up and out we go!

This year was better than ever.  My Dad had knee replacement surgery this past November and he's doing so well with his recovery.  In past years he's had some trouble walking through the snow to the river's edge to get some closer looks.  This year he was like a new man - and I could tell that that made him really happy.  

Now as you've probably noticed above, we never really get great photos of them.  The eagles are almost always just a littttle too far out on the river to get a good shot, at least with the camera equipment we have.  But that doesn't stop us from clicking away.  To us, these grainy photos are just reminders of wonderful mornings spent together, doing what we love. 

I cherish this time with my Dad.  Both of my parent's are 77 years old, and like I mentioned above, they don't live close enough for me to see them all the time.  These past few years we've spent eagle watching will be some of my favorite memories with my Dad.  

When I first began thinking of a subject to write about for our "love" month, I gathered photos of hearts from my archives, and clicked a few new ones.  I was going to fill the page with pink and red and hearts galore.  Then Dad and I did this.  And I couldn't think of a better subject for my "love" post than this one about my Dad and our shared love of searching for eagles. 

Life is a series of little things that become wonderful, warm memories.  I'd love to end this post with a photo of my Dad and me, but he didn't want me to put his picture on the internet, :) so let me just say - do what you love, with those you love. Isn't that what life's all about?  XOXO

Life According to Linus

by Judy

"I never thought it was such a bad little tree.  It's not bad at all, really.  Maybe it just needs a little love."

- Linus van Pelt-

We're all a little bit like that Charlie Brown Christmas tree.  Don't we all just need a little love?   A kind word, a loving gesture, a smile, a hug.  These simple things can make all the difference in someone's life.  

Share your love this holiday season.

Forever Friends

by Judy

In this world of "friending" someone, counting "likes," and soliciting "followers," absolutely nothing compares to real, face-to-face friendships.

I have so many images from our get-together in Galveston last week. As Susan mentioned in her post yesterday - it was a little overwhelming to look through them all and process all the memories and feelings that go along with them.  However, when I came to this one I knew it had to be THE one for my post today.  

The love that is shared between all of us is real.  We all bring our own unique style to this group, and we're respected and loved for being who we are.  I could feel the love from all of these women whom I just met, and let me tell you, it felt amazing.  There is a special bond between us - a friendship that I feel will last a lifetime.  What could be better than that? 

"If the miles between us won't allow us to see each other, memories will, and if my eyes can't see you, my heart will never forget you." -unknown-

Love is All There Is

by Carol

                    

"Everyone discusses my art and pretends to understand, as if it were necessary to understand, when it is simply necessary to love."

                                                Claude Monet