Wednesday, April 19, 2017

Connection

by Judy



Just a few days ago I was sitting in a Doctor's waiting room, very much in my own head. Nervous and worried and gently rubbing my thumb back and forth over the tiny cross that my lovely neighbor gave me years ago, while staring at the crazy design on the carpeting under my feet. 

I looked up and I looked around at the other women sharing the waiting room with me.  I wondered - what are their stories?  Why are they here?  They all seem calm, but within their own heads, just as I was.  

I smiled at the older woman near me and I asked, "how are you"? A flood of words came out of her... about how she'd been cancer free for ten years now.  About how this radiologist was the best and had saved her life, but that she was still always worried that they might find more cancer. She asked me my story and I shared with her why I was there.  She asked me where I was from and about my family, and she told me about her oldest daughter just becoming a grandmother, and she a great-grandmother.  

When my name was called and I stood to follow the radiology technician, she reached out to me, touched my hand, smiled and said "good luck."  I responded with a smile and a "good luck to you too."  

That tiny bit of human interaction at a time that I really just wanted to withdraw into myself made me feel better.  And I truly think that I  made that woman feel better too.  I realized that I wasn't alone.  I wasn't the only one fearful and worried and needing a prayer.  

I'm not a big chit-chatter by nature.  I feel that I'm a friendly person, but find it difficult to carry on a conversation with a total stranger.  I am so glad that I looked up that day.  I'm so glad that I smiled at the woman and asked her how she was.  As she opened up I realized that she needed some human interaction.  We both needed that "we're in the same boat" feeling, and we're not alone with this.  

As children we are warned to not talk to strangers. I think we subconsciously carry this warning with us even as adults. But everywhere we go we are surrounded by people we don't know. Maybe the next time we're tempted to withdraw into our phones, or a book, or to put our earbuds in to prevent conversation, maybe we could just look around. If we took a second to smile and to ask "how are you"?, or to declare "nice day" it may be just the opening that a person needs to release some fear or worry, or to get something off of their chest.

Remember, these people we walk past every day, or sit next to in a waiting room, have names. They have families and worries and hopes and dreams.  Just like we do.  

 "Be kinder than necessary, for everyone you meet is fighting some kind of battle."  










  

Wednesday, March 8, 2017

Ubunto

by Judy



Over the past week I've had many ideas about this blog post, but I couldn't bring all of my thoughts coherently together.  Although I wanted to write about spring, or photography, my mind kept going to my friend Jeannie, who passed away last Wednesday evening, just one week ago today.  She had a horrible form of cancer that didn't respond to any treatments, and she suffered a long, arduous journey.  

She is survived by her wonderful husband, and two precious sons - one, a 10 year old, and the other, a 14 year old who is a good friend of my own 14 year old.  

Even though I still weep at the thought of her being gone, I'm trying to focus on the way that the community is coming together to try and help.  Neighborhood Mom's and Dad's, all of her family, the boys classmates, school administrators, church members and coaches are coming together to help the family through this.  

"Ubunto" is an African tribal philosophy that is about the community coming together to help one another.  We've all heard that "it takes a village" to raise a child, and even in this modern, tech-filled world we live in, the community is still such an  important part of supporting our friends and loved ones in need.  

In this time of sadness it is so heartwarming to see all of the good that is surrounding Jeannie's family.  It's human nature to band together and to help one another.  I see that there is still a lot of love and hope in this world, and that's a good thing to remember when it seems we only see what is wrong and hateful in people.  

I don't have the answers that Jeannie's sons want to hear right now, and I certainly can't fix this, but I can be there for them, and I will be there for them.  I need to help her children on their journey through this, to not only survive this awful time, but to thrive.  And I know that they will thrive. This loving community of people are going to see to that!  

"You must not lose faith in humanity.  Humanity is an ocean; if a few drops of the ocean are dirty, the ocean does not become dirty."  
Ghandi








 
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