Summer Stroll

by Leigh

It's not officially summer quite yet, but it sure feels like it in my neck of the woods!  The cooler days of spring have past and anytime spent outside now is either early in the morning or late in the evening.  If you dare go out in the middle of the day you better be near a pool to cool off!  I've found myself waking up earlier in the morning so I can spend more time outside before the afternoon heat forces me back in.  The other morning I took a stroll through one of my favorite yards....where I grew up.  My parents have lived here since I was six and the backyard was a dream for my six year old self.  Even now at forty-something the backyard is still one of my favorite places to be and it has become my own test garden for various landscape design ideas.  I pretty much have free reign back there and I'm always trying new and different things.  Landscapes are ever evolving.  I don't think you're ever *finished* with your yard.  No sooner than you think it's right where you want it....an ice storm comes through and takes out mature trees.  The areas that were always perfectly shaded nooks are now full sun exposure so I move some plants around, create new areas and planting perennials that I was never able to before.  Beds become mature and some plants thrive while others just peter out allowing for new design, new ideas, new plants.  Along the sidewalk above we ended up with an area that stayed very wet.  The Boxwoods and Roses quickly died from having "wet feet".  Then I decided to try a decorative gravel and some containers, but it was kind of blah.  Then I remembered one of my favorite plants....Horsetail Reed Grass.  It can be tricky because it likes to spread...quickly and is considered invasive.  It also likes to stay wet and will grow in ponds.  This particular area is bordered by concrete on all sides and stays wet....Horsetail Reed ended up being the perfect solution and looks super cool around the curved sidewalk.

A boring, old shed needed to be dressed up a bit.  A simple wrought iron window basket was the thing to give it a pop of color and bring it back to life.  Virginia Creeper climbs up the sides and helps the shed to blend in a bit more.

Soft Mexican Feather Grass is planted along a back sidewalk.  Even from the patio the grass offers a nice visual with it's gentle movement in the wind.  It's one of those plants that begs to be touched and I can't pass by it without running my fingers through the soft blades.

The shady areas are full of perennials such as Hydrangeas, Hostas and these dainty Autumn Ferns.  They thrive in the understory of the mature trees and really show off in the late afternoon when the sun shines through them.  They continue to grow and spread and even pop up in areas that I didn't intend for them to be, but at some point you have to let go of the reigns and see where the plants lead you.  I can design and plan all I want...but the ultimate plan is designed by mother nature herself.

Slow Summer

by Leigh

I'm learning to love the summer.  When my kids were younger I was not a fan of summer break especially the unpredictable schedule....for someone so routine based like me that fly by the seat of your pants summer left me feeling frazzled.  I began to notice a shift in my attitude last summer.  While before I counted down the days till my kids were back in school now I find myself trying everything I can to prolong summer break.  I found myself getting sad when it time for my much beloved routine to start again.  What is going on with me?!

Maybe it's because my kids are older and more self sufficient.  Maybe it's because I'm enjoying spending time with them.  Maybe it's the thought of having a freshman and a middle schooler that's causing an early midlife crisis.  Maybe it's because I'm realizing more and more that the days are long and the years are short!

Here's to a slow summer....a savoring of pool days...spur of the moment road trips...and time spent with family.

Nature Lessons

by Leigh

One of these days I will talk about something other than flowers.  Oh who am I kidding...that's never going to happen!  I've come to the conclusion that the reason I like to photograph nature more than I do people is because I don't have to control, pose, bribe, prod nature.  When I'm outside I am an observer....walking along and listening to what nature is telling me....paying attention to what nature wants to show me.  I don't have to dress up  for it.  I don't have to talk out loud to it.  I can be myself with nature.

Maybe that's why I have such a strong connection to everything in the plant world.  The relationship we have appeals to my inner introvert.  I don't have to make small talk or fidget with my outfit.  There's no concern over what I'm wearing or if my hair looks ok.  Nature does not judge me and I do not judge it.  There is a mutual appreciation.

Nature is a teacher, a healer, a friend.  It's like Thoreau said, 

"I went to the woods because I wished to live deliberately, to front only the essential facts of life, and see if I could not learn what it had to teach, and not, when I came to die, discover that I had not lived."

"Living a deliberate life."  I love that.  And maybe that's what it's all about....living a mindfully rich life rather than a monetarily rich one.  In a true transcendentalist way, Thoreau believed strongly in the power of nature and living simply.  I believe that is a lesson that applies just as much now as it did for Thoreau in 1854.

"Look!  Look!  Look deep into nature and you will understand everything."

~Walt Whitman

Hey There Dahlia!

by Leigh

I have an obsession with Dahlias.  They come in a plethora of colors and sizes.  In fact, there are over 42 varieties!  Some blooms are small and dainty while other "dinnerplate" varieties are as big as...you guessed it...a dinnerplate!  I am anxiously (and impatiently) awaiting my dinnerplate Dahlias to bloom!  There are color variations in each multi petaled bloom and they have brightly colored yellow centers.  In my neck of the woods they are just annuals although I have heard that I can dig up the tubers to overwinter for next year's planting.  I might just try that this year.

The Dahlia was named after botanist Anders Dahl in 1751.  They are native to Mexico and were actually named the national flower of Mexico in 1963.  They are in the Asteraceae family having composite flowers which means they have both central disc florets and surrounding ray florets.  Dahlias come in almost every color except blue.  In 1846 the Caledonia Horticultural Society of Edinburgh offered a prize of 2,000 pounds to the first person who successfully produced a blue Dahlia.  This still has not been accomplished!  

There are more than 57,000 registered cultivars of Dahlias.  They are broken into various groups including: single flowered, anemone-flowered, collerette dahlias, decorative, ball, pompon, cactus, fimbriated, single orchid, double orchid, and peony flowered.  These terms all relate to the shape of the flower. 

If you are looking to add some pizazz to your garden then be sure to incorporate some of these amazing flowers!

Gotta Get Away

by Leigh

Sometimes you just have to get away....away from the hustle and bustle of everyday life....away from the constant cell phone ringing, facebook dinging and instagram pinging.  You have to get away from the noise of the everyday routine.  It doesn't have to be a week long vacation or anything that requires reservations months in advance.  It can just be a quick 48 hour trip to a nearby lake and a dear friend's cabin.

I always keep a fishing pole and tackle box in my car.  Really!  it's true!  stop laughing!  I always have it with me because I never know when I might pass by the perfect fishing hole.  Even though the fish weren't biting on this particular day the time I spent alone just listening and watching the birds was just what I needed to recharge myself.  

And even better than solo fishing time is time with girlfriends (girlfriends who don't laugh...too much...about my fishing obsession).  A day spent in our pj's, laughing till we cry while painting wooden boards with antlers and flowers!  Flowing glasses of wine, cheesy movies on tv and ruffles chips with sour cream & onion dip.  Perfection!  

We spent all 48 hours in that cabin just the three of us...except for the quick 10 minute beer run trip to Okay, Oklahoma (in our pj's no less!).  It was the perfect weekend.  Sunday afternoon I was back home doing the usual routine of laundry and grocery list making when my husband made the comment about how happy I was.  And it's true...all I needed was a little recharge to put a little pep in my step.  Moral of the story....take some time for yourself.  It doesn't have to be a two week vacation...it doesn't even have to be a 48 hour trip, but giving yourself the gift of time can last for a long while!

Telling Our Truth

by Leigh

Childhood should be a happy time when kids enjoy going to school, learning new things, seeing their friends, playing on sports teams, having sleepovers and playdates.  Childhood should not be filled with headaches, stomachaches, shortness of breath, dizziness and a racing heart beat.  A ten year old's biggest worry should be whether or not they want to play goalie or forward in the game today not will I be able to make myself go to school today.  

A year ago November began my daughter's battle with anxiety.  It started with a phobia of throwing up after seeing kids throw up at school during a particular busy stomach bug season.  She had an immediate fight or flight reaction. At first I thought she was having asthma attacks because she couldn't take a deep breath and her chest hurt, but we soon learned it was a panic attack.   From there the anxiety grew and grew like a weed that you keep pulling but never quite get all the roots.  It slowly began to take over her life and ours.  She learned tools in therapy to calm herself, but then it hit a point where she would feel so sick that she was convinced she was sick.  She would get so beaten down and upset when we would tell her that it was her anxiety making her feel that way.  She said we didn't believe her that she was sick.  I tried to explain to her that just like a virus causes the flu, her anxiety causes her stomach aches and headaches and that they are real.  Every Sunday evening became a predictable turn of events. Especially after a long fall or spring break.  She would be her usual, happy self until about 8:30 and then she would feel sick and dizzy.  There would be nights when she wouldn't fall asleep until 4:00 in the morning.  

Monday morning would come and how could she possibly go to school when she didn't get any sleep. Her General Anxiety Disorder revolves around school and sometimes she can pinpoint one thing that makes her feel anxious, but other times it's just school in general.  She has lots of friends....she's outgoing....all the teachers know her....she loves playing on her soccer team....she's testing for her black belt in tae kwon do this summer....she's student council president AND she's fights everyday to not let her anxiety get the best of her.  But it's gotten to a point where it is ruling her life and ours.  It's heartbreaking to watch your child go through something like this and not be able to make it all better.  She does the best she can to hide it from people, but kids start to question why she gets to leave the classroom and stay with another teacher when she feels her anxiety ramping up.  They make rude comments about her and thinks she's getting special treatment.  She is fighting to make it through a full school day and finish out the year strong. Every day is a battle to stay at school and not call me to come get her and then you throw mean spirited comments on top of that and it just adds fuel to the fire.  Friendships become difficult because she can't let things go.  She perseverates by saying the same thing over and over or not being able to move on after having her feelings hurt.  My strong willed child becomes even more so when she gets angry and upset and will argue and repeat herself till she's blue in the face.  She sees a therapist, rides horses, uses essential oils, meditates, has done yoga....believe me we try everything to help her.  

It's difficult as a parent because sometimes I just need to talk about it and get this off my chest.  I want other parents to know what's going on so that maybe their child can show some compassion and understand her a little bit better instead of talking behind her back.  I want my friends to know why I often back out of get togethers not because I don't want to go but because I'm barely holding it together.  I want my family to know that when I talk about this that I'm not always looking for suggestions or advice but rather an empathetic ear.  I want myself to know that I'm doing all I can and am handling it the best I can.  Most of all I want my daughter to know that I will never stop fighting for her, protecting her, encouraging her and loving her.  

The Search for Quiet

by Leigh

Sometimes I like to be alone.  Actually a lot of the time I like to be alone.   I guess it's part of the introvert in me that craves the solitude and quiet. Wanting quiet time doesn't necessarily mean I'm alone in my room hiding from the world.  Although I have to admit that I come home early on Tuesdays before anyone else to enjoy my freshly cleaned house.  I look forward to that Tuesday solitude each week.  I used to feel guilty about taking time to myself during a busy work week, but I've realized that I am more productive, calmer and less stressed when I have those brief quiet moments throughout my week.  

Some people might think it's frivolous or selfish to indulge in quiet time especially when you want/need to devote time to other people in your life.  But if you change your mindset, you will find that time to yourself can actually enable you to share your gifts with the world.  When you honor your need for quiet time, you are choosing to put that energy into yourself.  It's the much needed self care that we are always talking about.  You become a happier person and happy people have the best chance of lifting up others around them while reaching their own full potential.  

Instead of feeling like quiet time is a guilty pleasure, recognize it as an essential part of nourishing your soul and replenishing your energy.  The restorative silence of solitude is what we all need after a fast paced day.  

Take some time and find your quiet.  I guarantee you will feel refreshed and energized....like a new person.  And when you enjoy these moments yourself, you are in a better position to be kind to others, care for your loved ones and make a difference in this world.

Observations

by Leigh

I never know what my eye is going to be drawn too.  There's always the obvious....expected shots....my kids.....flowers....leaves. But then there are things that are unexpected, things that I'm not necessarily searching out.   You know what I mean right? How many times how you've been just walking along going about your business and something catches your eye...it makes you stop and do a double take.  It's an observation of perhaps a relationship between things such as the tree reflection and a car window.  It's those moments that pop up and make us pause for a moment.  Those are the shots that I feel down deep in my soul.  It's not something I plan for....it's not something I search for....it's something that finds me.  

As I look through some of these shots I notice a similar theme.  They are all photos of relationships although rarely are people involved.  This shot was the vignette created by the turquoise chair and the ivy covered fence.  It was more than just a photo of a chair, a fence and some ivy.  It's the relationship between all three and the story that it tells.

This is a simple staircase leading to indoor soccer fields where I spend many of my Saturdays.  The grass shadows on the stairs stopped me dead in my tracks as I fished out my iphone from my purse.  It was a photo that I had to take.  A moment that was meant for me to see.  As other soccer parents rushed around me I stood, composed and captured.  I was thankful for that brief moment to pause and acknowledge something that I thought was beautiful even though it was just concrete, metal and weeds.

Keep your eyes open for the unexpected.  Become an observer in your day to day world.  

  

Adventure Time

by Leigh

"Life is either a great adventure or nothing." ~Helen Keller

It was a perfect February day....nice enough to head out to a local nature park.  It's a beautiful woodland area smack dab in the middle of the city.  If you didn't know about it...you probably wouldn't even realize it was there.  Right alongside a turnpike is a wooded area with paths and creeks where deer and hawks reside.  It's an easy place to escape the busyness of the day.  

I watch as my daughter and niece explore the area....peering over the bridge to count how many turtles they see.  Of course, the mother in me can't help but say "watch out!...don't lean over too far....I don't want be fishing you out of the creek."  

We walk along the path feeling the gravel crush under our sneakers.  We stop to watch a couple Woodpeckers staking their claim on a Cottonwood tree.  There is a treehouse built around it and the girls decide this is a good place to take out their sketchbooks.  

As we make our way along the path we can hear the trickle of water and we know we are getting close to the creek.  This is our favorite part of the nature park.  I watch as the girls navigate their way across the exposed rocks to make it from one side to the other.  I call out to them multiple times "watch your step...the rocks are slippery....don't get your shoes wet!"  This is after all February...and while the temperatures are mild the breeze whips up every now and then just enough for your nose, ears and fingers to get cold.  I think to myself that maybe I should have brought another layer, but then the breeze dies down again and that thought slips out of my mind.  Why does it matter if their shoes get wet anyway?  I shouldn't ruin a fun moment by hovering over their every move.

I take a step back and start to realize just how often I'm telling them not to do something.  I'm sure it's just my maternal instinct wanting to protect them.  But how are they going to learn to navigate this world by themselves if the don't learn to use their own critical thinking and good judgement. These are skills they need to hone now.  I can't teach them to make decisions.  Raising courageous children means they have to make their own mistakes and learn lessons from those mistakes.  Perhaps next time they will scope out their path across the creek before they start jumping from rock to rock.  I watch as they brainstorm and work together to figure out how to get across without landing in the water.  

A simple walk in the park kind of day....a fun adventure for the girls....a defining moment in parenting for me.  I need to lead less and follow more.  I want to let them guide me on an adventure all their own.  Letting them make their own decisions empower them, makes them feel important, teaches responsibility, and they learn more about themselves.  And perhaps if I'm less concerned with telling them what to do, I will learn something from them. 

Spring Dreams

by Leigh

Meet Zoey.  Zoey is staring out the window at the grey skies as the rain splashes on her "used to be spotless" windows.  She looks for her bird friends who entertain her most afternoons, but they are nowhere to be found.  Even the squirrels, who don't usually get a second glance from her, are not out skipping from roof to tree to roof again.  Not even the courtyard mouse, who usually sneaks out to collect his share of bird seed scattered below the feeder, is out on this dreary day.  Zoey feels blah.

I feel you Zoey.  I really do.  I look out the window and feel blah too.  I read the paper and feel even more blah.  I try to catch up on Facebook...but with each harsh word I read my stomach begins to feel tied up in knots.  I flip on the television and catch the news....really bad idea....so I turn the tv off.  

I guess the best thing to do Zoey, is to just curl up on the sofa with you, the two dogs, the other cat, a cozy blanket, cup of coffee and a good book.  We all need to escape the world around us sometimes. These days it seems like we need to do it even more often.  I feel like maybe once spring arrives and the sun comes out and your bird friends return and my flower friends return....maybe just maybe everything will feel right with the world again.  Until then we can escape the humdrum of today and dream of spring through photos.

Bare Bones

by Leigh

Every year...around this same time...I write about winter trees. I'm pretty sure every single year I have written about my love for tree silhouettes.  So imagine my excitement when our monthly theme happens to be tree branches!  I always say that you get to know trees in the winter when they are naked and exposed.  Their truth shows through when they aren't clothed by their leaves.  This is when we can see all gnarly branches, broken limbs, and peeling trunks.  

That got me thinking.  Maybe that's why I am so drawn to trees in the winter.  I see parallels between us and the trees.  Without their covering...without the distraction of the flashy colored leaves or the bright blooming flowers we see trees at their most vulnerable state.  We see exactly what they are....and all their imperfections.  If you aren't familiar with Brene Brown she is a research professor that has studied courage, vulnerability, shame and empathy and written about it in many of her best selling books.  In her book, The Gifts of Imperfection, she defines vulnerability as this:  

Vulnerability-willingness to show up and be seen with no 

guarantee of outcome-is our greatest measure of courage.

That's what the trees represent for me.  I see them as brave, vulnerable, courageous.  They remind me that despite my flaws I can show up, be seen and be worthy of love.

Look at the winter trees.  Really look at them...study them...appreciate them.  We are connected to everything and everyone around us in some way.  

“We cultivate love when we allow our most vulnerable and powerful selves to be deeply seen and known, and when we honor the spiritual connection that grows from that offering with trust, respect, kindness and affection.

Love is not something we give or get; it is something that we nurture and grow, a connection that can only be cultivated between two people when it exists within each one of them – we can only love others as much as we love ourselves.

Shame, blame, disrespect, betrayal, and the withholding of affection damage the roots from which love grows. Love can only survive these injuries if they are acknowledged, healed and rare.” 
― Brené Brown, The Gifts of Imperfection: Let Go of Who You Think You're Supposed to Be and Embrace Who You Are

Word of Intent

by Leigh

Connect

verb

     bring together or into contact so that a real or notional link is established

     join together so as to provide access and communication

     to establish communication between

     to join, link or fasten together; unite or bind

And so it begins....another year....a fresh 365.  For the last few years I have chosen a word of intent rather than setting myself up for failure by setting a resolution.  I use my word to guide my daily photo meditations that I post on Instagram (#loveleeokc_connect2017)  

My words in past years:

2014 BE

2015 FOCUS

2016 SIMPLIFY

I take some time to think about what intention I would like to set for the new year.  Sometimes it comes to me right away while other times it needs to mull around in my brain and on my heart before my intuition kicks me and says...that's it! that's your word!

This is one of the years that I'm going with the first word that came to me.  And that word is connect.

There are so many ways for me to apply it in my life.  I want to connect with others.  I want to connect with my body, mind and spirit. I want to connect with my camera.  I want to connect with nature.

I intend to connect with others by putting down the devices and listening earnestly to what they are saying.  I want to have genuine conversations. I want to invite a friend for coffee to talk about what's on our hearts and minds.  I want to cook a meal together with my children without the distraction of iphone or television.  I want to go to dinner with my husband on a regular basis so we can have real conversation and not just a "hello, how was your day?" in passing.

I intend to connect with my body, mind and spirit through meditation, movement and giving my body whole and natural foods.  

I intend to connect with my camera by continuing my one little word instagrams, taking some online classes, and working to build up my Stocksy port. 

I intend to connect with nature by getting outside everyday and engaging all five senses to keep me grounded.

How about you?  Have you chosen a word for the new year?  I invite you to share your word with us in the comments, on Instagram or on our Facebook page or by posting your photo in our Flickr pool.

Have Yourself A Crazy Little Christmas!

by Leigh

Since this is my last post before Christmas I wanted to wish every one of you a very Merry Christmas!  And I also wanted an opportunity to splash this crazy image of my daughter all over the internet.  My hope is that it embarrasses her enough that next year's photoshoot will run smoothly!  Seriously friends....my most dreaded shoot every year is my own family.  You would think that would be the easiest of the year, but nooooooo.

It's like the kids conspire together for a fun game of "torture the photographer and make her life miserable".  

Most of my time is spent trying to get my six year old nephew to sit still long enough so that he isn't just a blur in the photos.  My daughter, the ham, wants to be the comedian of the group with my niece following her lead.  Then there's the teenager.  He is as cooperative as can be expected for a fourteen year old, but his patience level is non existent.  He's frustrated and over the whole thing in the first ten minutes.  Then there is the challenge of getting a natural smile out of him.  What is it with teens and their aversion to smiling?  Can't they just pretend to be happy one hour out of one day!

I think next year I might just embrace the craziness instead of trying to fight it.  I'm thinking a holiday card full of the outtakes might be pretty funny and a lot less stressful for me!  But you know what...after a few weeks pass by and I have finally calmed myself down after the "photoshoot from hell" these candid moments are what I keep coming back to.  It's the unscripted moments in life that make me laugh, warm my heart and make me smile even if at the moment I wanted to tear my hair out!

Wishing you and yours a holiday full of candid moments that leave you smiling :)

A Gift To Myself

by Leigh

From the title of my post you might think I'm being a bit selfish...talking about getting myself a gift for Christmas.  You're probably saying to yourself, now....come on Leigh....everyone knows that Christmas is about giving to others and here you are talking about yourself.    

But hold on....just go with me on this.  Every year beginning with Thanksgiving we become bombarded by stuff....television ads for Black Friday showing the latest deal on the biggest TV you can buy....the bigger the better.....more...More....MORE!  Then there's the IT toy that every kid wants and no parent can find.  The calendar becomes filled up with holiday parties every weekend.

Ugh...it's just all too much!

I've decided that instead of stressing out about the holidays, I would rather give myself the gift of time.  And in giving myself the gift of time I give my loved ones the gift of experience rather than material things. I don't want to stand in line for the latest and greatest craze that all the kids just have to have when instead I could be snuggled up with my kids watching Christmas movies.  The one thing we all have to give is ourselves.  We can give our time and attention...our love and affection.  We can start by having real conversations about real things and the best conversations happen when we get outdoors.  No electronic distractions....just us together with nature.

I am giving myself permission to not feel guilty about avoiding the Christmas Craze this year.  My list is starting to look a little different than most years as a result of this.  Instead of feeling overwhelmed this holiday season I'm looking forward to making more memories with my family and friends.  I can't wait to make my grandfather's homemade fudge with my sister and our kids.  We will tell stories about this annual tradition. And when my dad sits down with my grandfather's copper bottom pot and begins to beat the fudge I will be taken back to my childhood as my dad holds the spoon up to see if it's the right consistency...I will watch my daughter jump at the chance to put her finger through the fudge just to be sure it tastes right like my sister and I did so many years ago. This year at the top of my wish list is the gift of togetherness.  

“The only people who truly know your story, 

are the ones who help you write it.” – Unknown