by Cathy
Just in case you have not heard, I have an awesome new right hip! No more deep hip pain, no more limping; it feels amazing and I can’t wait to get moving full speed ahead. But with this brand new hip comes some restrictions for the next month or so; restrictions on what I can and cannot do. Suddenly I find myself in healing mode, eager to get to the physical therapy part and the moving part and yet stuck here with at least four more weeks to go before any of that happens.
In healing mode there are mid-day naps and no driving; I can’t bend over more than 90 degrees and I can’t cross my legs. In healing mode I get up feeling better every day and make plans to do this or that only to crash about half way through most projects. I read a lot on the living room couch, Basil close by, and I spend time on my computer. I search for light and moments to capture with my camera, but instead find myself taking photos of that spot on the couch; that spot that I will know all too well by the time healing mode comes to an end.
I don’t want to sell these types of captures short however because for me, they are so important. I want to come to the end of healing mode and not forget. I want to have proof of the journey and proof of the healing. So every day I keep my camera and my phone close by, ready to capture the process.
I am tempted at times to turn my lens on the beautiful bouquets of flowers friends have brought by or the meals they have brought with them. But what I have done instead is try and capture the nitty gritty of it all. The dirty floor, the things I drop and can't pick up (remember that bending over thing) my box of meds, the crackers I eat before taking all those meds, my walker, my stack of books and my messy bed.
Every day I feel stronger and stronger, and because of that I would be lying if I didn’t tell you I am a bit bored at times. But I am also working on being mindful and full of gratitude for every single moment of healing mode. In just two short weeks I can get in and out of shower without help and I can dress myself with my little grabby thing pretty dang quick. I can carry my morning latte back to my office without spilling and I can fix meals, unload the dishwasher and go up and down our stairs. Yesterday I put the walker away and started using just my cane around the house. And, I sleep like a baby. No more waking up several times a night with pain and the need to get up and walk around. There is not enough gratitude, enough prayers or enough thankfulness to express what I am feeling. And it is important for me not to forget. So I capture the nitty gritty, because to me it is beautiful.
I am sure there are folks who will think I am crazy to document healing mode. They might feel like if it were them, they would just want to get it over with and forget it. And I think there might be folks who will look at the photos I have posted today and shake their head and not really understand. But I encourage you to capture not only the beauty of your life but also the hardships, the struggles, the process of any challenge and the healing. For these are all important parts of your journey; parts of your story that make you who you are.
As I get older time just flies by, so I know before I know it healing mode will be over and the hard work of rehab will begin. I had a friend's husband tell me the other day that it is HARD! He said, "Those big rubber bands they use are evil! But do it!" Do it I will!
Thank you for all the well wishes and prayers, I know that is why I am doing so well. Oh, and I am taking any and all book suggestions!
Cathy, xooox
8 comments:
You are intrepid, Cathy! And you'll do just fine with this healing thing because you have the right attitude. Patience is one key, we always tend to rush and then we pay the price. I did after my bike wreck several years ago and laterI realized I was not as far along as I thought I was when I looked back on things. Because you start at such a low point, each day's progress seems monumental so you feel better and stronger than you really are. It. just. takes. time. Rehab will be hard but oh, so worth it!
Books. Have you been reading Ken Follett's Century Trilogy? It's a great series. The final one was just released last week and and I'm reading it now. I promise you this trilogy will keep you busy for a long time, the books are massive but the stories are very compelling. xo
This is great! It is easy to take pictures of the pretty things, I love it that you are taking pictures of your life right at this moment, that is priceless. Best wishes to you as you move through healing mode and onto therapy mode!
If you knew how much we have all been wondering how you're doing, you would know how happy we are that you are documenting your progress and sharing it here. As Dotti said, it takes time and it will seem long at times but at the end when you look back on it, it will seem like it flew by. Oh, and so worth it to be pain free! I agree with Dotti about the books. If I was forced to be still for awhile, that's what I'd be doing, catching up on all my reading. There never seems to be enough time for that. So continue to take care of yourself and know we are all thinking about you.
This is such a up-lifting post to know that 1) you are improving with each new day 2) that you are pain free and 3) that you are appreciating life in all of it's moments and learning from those moments. I have heard good things about Ken Follett's trilogy series, both of them. His earlier one as well as this one. I tend not to read books that are that hefty, but I know many people that love a good meaty book.
Have you read the books by Elizabeth Gilbert? Get well soon! ♥
So glad things are progressing well with you. I so agree with you about sharing the everyday that's what makes us who we are.
That last photo of you, Cathy, is beautiful! I agree so much with everything you said. The healing mode is so much a part of this process, a time in your life when you're forced to slow down so your body can heal and catch up. I'd document it, too. Before you know it, you'll be out there partying and swing dancing with the rest of us! ; )
So glad that you are doing so well Cathy, and I love that photo of you at the end and your reflection. There have been so many times that I've wanted to document my son's illness, but I have to also be respectful of his wishes when he does not want any pictures. :(
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