Low Expectations

by Judy

At Focusing on Life we try to promote positive feelings and inspire all of you, but we are also honest about the fact that sometimes life isn't always pretty. 

Right now I'm struggling my way out of what has been a very low time for me. A summer filled with physical pain, and side effects of medication, have brought me to one of my lowest points - mentally, emotionally, and physically.

In the past I have known that when I am down, doing what I love can really help.  Since photography is that 'thing' for me, it would make sense for me to go on long walks, camera in hand, and spend an afternoon shooting whatever catches my eye.  But this time it's been different.  For most of the summer I haven't even had the desire to shoot.  On the rare days I did want to shoot, my motivation level was so low that it seemed like too much work. 

As time went on, and it was longer and longer since I had picked up my camera, the thought of doing a photo shoot was almost scary.  I haven't shot in so long, what if I've lost my skill?  I'm so low, what if nothing inspires me anymore?  Packing up my gear and trekking to one of my special places began to feel like too much work. The longer it went since I had used my camera, the harder it seemed to start. And so my camera sat idle all summer.

I'd notice the light, just like I always used to, but I didn't run to my camera to capture it.  A foggy morning, a dew laden spider web, an interesting shadow.  All of these things would have found me with camera in hand -  but not this summer. I'd look, I'd notice, but it simply seemed like too much effort to do anything but that.

Seeing all of my friends sharing their beautiful photos on flickr, and on their blogs, made me feel even worse.  I wanted to be doing that, but I knew that when my heart wasn't in it, beautiful photos wouldn't happen.

 

This was the week that I finally felt brave enough to pull out my camera.  I went out with my camera -  and some very low expectations.  What?  In this world of lofty goals and high expectations, that seems very strange to say, but it's true.  I didn't expect to have the best shoot of my life.  I didn't expect that I'd get many, or any, shots that I'd be really happy with.  I didn't plan on trying to capture anything in particular.  I just went out.  I can definitely say that I had set my expectations low.  And though it sounds strange to admit, I feel that it helped.

 I got the 'feel' of the camera again without feeling like I needed to create the perfect shot.  I felt the joy of a quiet wander while looking for the light and searching for my subject.  I didn't get any great shots, but I did get some that were pretty good.  I didn't shoot anything that was unique and amazing, but I did shoot. It's what I needed at this point in time, and I have promised myself that I will remember this. Sometimes expecting perfection can deter us from doing something. Be kind to yourself.  Some days we all need a break - including a break from what we expect of ourselves.

Of course, as I begin feeling like myself again I look forward to challenging myself, but in this world of striving for perfection and lofty goal setting, there will be days that we just need to lower our expectations.